“If the path before you is clear, you’re probably on someone else’s.”
Carl Jung
Eight years ago I bought a domain.
I had worked as a teacher and counselor and saw first-hand that the work culture in education was unwell. Very unwell.
I experienced deteriorating mental and physical health, emotional and financial strain, and the hopeless optimism of a caring, overwhelmed professional educator.
I was about to start a Doctorate in Educational Leadership and Policy at the University of Utah having finished my Master’s in Psychology only a few years earlier.
I was ambitious, naïve, and inexperienced: ready to do it all, change it all, and be it all. To every one.
Well, you could probably guess…but I didn’t quite pull it off.
Rather than fulfillment I built resentment. Competition replaced compassion. The story of “how things should be” distracted from the beauty of how things were. The needs of anyone who asked took priority–even if it was at odds with my mind, body, or family.
One year into my Doctorate I got exactly what I’d worked for … more work! I was hired to lead our District’s mental health and wellness effort following a nationally publicized suicide cluster shortly after our second child was born.
I’ve since come to believe that work-life balance is a misnomer (I’ll save my lecture on that for another day), but if it were real, “life” wasn’t even reading on the scale.
I concluded my my study on leadership traits that facilitate workplace wellness to complete my Doctorate in the Spring of 2020. No more night classes, essays, or homework! I was ready to begin the easy, breezy life as Dr. Withers.
But I don’t have to tell anyone what actually happened in the Spring of 2020.
Our shared experience through the pandemic was almost a wakeup call that released us from overworking and overdoing … but in education, we doubled down.
The needs of students become more apparent. The essential role our schools serve in our communities became more clear, and with that clarity came heavy scrutiny.
A fractured society breached the simplicity and neutrality of neighborhood classrooms. Everything became political. There seemed to be a line of people waiting to be outraged by every decision both big and small.
The pendulum of public opinion became a metronome set to RAVE PARTY ULTRA MIX 5000BPM.
Everyone felt it.
Our work culture descended from unwell to critical condition.
I, too, reached a turning point.
This time, it was different. Change, for me, was stirring within. Independent of the world “out there.”
This turn wasn’t 180 degrees, not even 45.
It was a 1% turn, an opening and softening.
Awareness.
I lifted my eyes from the well-trodden ground below. Awakening attention and intention to begin the subtle healing of my mind, body, spirit, relationships, and work-life.
Shifting beliefs changed behavior. Daily decisions disrupted patterns. New rituals offered new experiences. Experiences exposed priorities. Prioritization set stable roots:
A foundation for fulfillment.
This process continues to unfold, daily, as I reconnect with who I’ve always been. Which has been enhanced by everything I’ve had to shed.
What started with a domain that went to “page does not exist” eight years ago has recently turned into an actual LLC, The Happy Schools Project, with a clear mission to prioritize and facilitate fulfillment, from within.
The bread crumbs of our fulfillment are scattered throughout our past, present, and future.
I don’t remember choosing the name eight years ago. Somehow it aligns perfectly with the materialized business. It feels like my present self, who now has the experience to fully express the passion of my younger self, is reaching back to bring the Happy Schools Project forward.
Each subtle decision is led by transcendent intuition that feels everyday. There was no “aha” or flash of inspiration, just the simple work of daily life. Regular choices, profoundly guided by joy and a longing to contribute.
I accept that I am powerful and can recover fulfillment in my daily life
Every one has a purpose.
Our purpose is not the messianic “save all of humanity” type. Our purpose is wrapped in the simplicity of everyday life, the work in front of us and the people around us.
The depth of our purpose is ever-present, hidden in plain sight, following our every move–no other person will ever be in the exact position that we are in in this moment.
Fulfillment is the full expression of purpose in everyday life. To approach each day with love, awareness, intention, care, dignity, compassion, and generosity.
There are the obvious examples of this everyday contribution: daycare workers, teachers, caregivers, and parents raising and inspiring the future generation; healthcare workers and first responders keeping others alive and in good health…this list goes on.
But the group of “everyday heroes” is much bigger when I consider that I drive on roads I didn’t pave, in a car I didn’t build, using a phone and network I can’t comprehend, eating food I didn’t harvest (or often didn’t even prepare), listening to music I didn’t create, wearing clothes I didn’t sew…this list is infinitely long.
Every time we drive safely anywhere there are hundreds of other drivers that cared enough to avoid incident. It’s the exception that there are accidents. None of those regular, safe drivers (like you!) believed that they saved your life, but they absolutely did. Their uninspiring care kept you alive to read this post.
Every bit of our modern life is maintained by people doing the work in front of them and serving the people around them.
Believing in the profound nature of everyday life means that maintaining a mind and body that is capable of our highest expression, here and now, is fundamental to our fulfillment.
Intentional healing of mind and body must accompany our highest expression.
This does not mean that we have to live without ailments or struggle. To hold hardship with dignity and offer care and compassion even at our low points of physical and mental health is a profound expression of purpose.
What it means to care for our mind and body is as individual as our in-the-moment purpose. Each of us is faced with a unique set of challenges, preferences, and strengths to honor with each choice.
There is no universal benchmark of mental health or physical fitness, there is only a deep knowing that we intentionally offer what we can with what we have…
Which is what it means to give everything.
Because here and now, the work in front of us and the people around us, is all that is.
By acknowledging our finite reach we unlock our infinite potential.
We are powerful through acceptance of what we can and cannot change.
What we can change stirs within us, independent of the world “out there.” What we can’t change distracts us.
To choose to accept our power is to open and soften to who have always been. Bringing awareness and intention to the life that is.
This is the journey of fulfillment recovery. What fulfills us is already inside us. Fulfillment is a process of shedding who we aren't, not "self-improvement."
Our recovery is a simple turn.
It’s not 180 degrees, not even 45.
It’s a 1% turn–to awaken our attention and intention.
To shift beliefs, change behavior, disrupt patterns, create rituals, and prioritize our mind, body, and fulfillment. Our unique expressions of regular life.
May we recover our power and purpose, in every moment. Every one.
My inspiration, as usual, comes from my kids. They are so much closer to truth than we are, they haven’t added all those layers above their joy and fulfillment. They are fully present. Fulfilled. This video of my two daughters says it all…
“The expression of joy is the expression of love. The expression of love is the acceptance of the moment. The acceptance of the moment is the acceptance of the self.”
Story Waters
I love what you’re doing Kinley-son😍